The soothing poetry of Mr Robert Kelly, Esq.

The Smoky Apple

Now I’m not attempting to be forward
But hey attractive young woman I’m feeling you
The way you do those things that you do
Reminds me of my Lexus coupe
That’s why I’m moving to within close proximity of your face
Attempting to persuade you to spend a night in a local bed and breakfast
You must be a football coach
The way you’ve inadvertently spurred me towards a plethora of random sexual acts.

So baby please give me a toot-toot
Then in return I shall give you a beep-beep
Running her hands through my African-American foliage
Bouncing upon 24-inch wheels
While they say on the radio…


This is the rejigged version of Ignition
Hot and fresh from my kitchen
My mother is really working her figure
Getting each man to do her bidding.
Sipping on a Coca-Cola and rum
I’m like, ‘throw caution to the wind young charge…

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